May FAQ: I'm Afraid to Talk About My Mental Health at Work

May 29

A vibrant and colorful explosion of blue, green, and orange question marks of varying sizes, symbolizing a dynamic FAQ session for developing retail leaders. — *Addressing the fear of mental health stigma in retail.*

One Friday each month, I dedicate the post to looking at some questions I have heard recently from developing leaders. Sharing those questions and my thoughts for them is a way for me to spread the information to as many leaders and future leaders as possible. If you have a question about leadership, or just a situation you would like some additional insight on, please email me at Effective Retail Leader. Let’s take a look at this week’s question:

I am afraid to talk about my mental health struggles with my boss or peers. I fear they will judge me on this and think I am not a strong leader. I am well respected in my district and I want to continue to be able to help others, but by admitting I have my own challenges they may not think I can help them anymore.

This is a really good question, and I applaud this person for asking it. This is a difficult subject for a lot of people. There is no easy answer, because it is not an easy topic to address.

You Are Not Alone in Feeling This Way

First, understand that what you are feeling is common. The hesitancy to open up to your manager or your peers is not unusual. In fact, the fear you have about being judged is one of the biggest reasons so many leaders never seek the support they need. The irony is that the leaders who appear to have it all together are often the ones quietly carrying the most.

You are well respected in your district. Your peers look to you for guidance. And because of that, you assume they expect you do not struggle. However, that assumption may not be accurate, and it is worth testing before you accept it as fact.

Ease Into the Conversation

You do not have to walk into your district manager's office and lay everything out at once. Start small. Start with simple conversations that get at the root of what you are dealing with, without revealing everything. Ask your supervisor something like, "Have you ever dealt with feeling like you have too much on your plate?" or "How do you handle it when the pressure really builds?"

These are not confessions. They are conversations. They let you test the waters. They help you understand whether this is someone who can support you or not, before you decide how far to go.

Right now you are making an assumption that the worst will happen. That they will judge you. That it will change how they see you. They might surprise you. Give them the chance to before you decide.

Get It Out of Your Head

Beyond those early conversations, one of the most important things you can do is find a way to process what you are going through. It can be out loud or in writing. If you have a trusted friend, family member, or someone outside of work who is genuinely in your corner, talk to them. Not to get advice, just to say it out loud. Getting it out of your head is the first step toward working through it.

If that feels like too much, try journaling. Keep a journal specifically for this: how you are feeling, what is making you anxious, what is weighing on you. Just be open with it. And if writing is not your thing, use the voice memo app on your phone. Every smartphone has one. Talk it out. Let it transcribe. It is a one-way conversation to start, but it gets those thoughts out where you can begin to look at them more clearly.

Be Willing to Change Some Routines

As you start to capture what you are struggling with and look at the possible causes, be willing to try something different. That can feel uncomfortable on its own, especially when you are the person others look to. But small changes can make a real difference.

Share something you are trying in a one-on-one conversation with a peer. This isn’t a type of confession, just sharing something you have been experimenting with. You may find that opening that door surprises you. Some of your peers may feel exactly the same way and have never said anything because they look up to you and assume you have it all figured out. They may be afraid to say something because they do not want to appear weak or unable to handle the pressures of the role.

Even something as small as a five-minute routine, a moment of quiet while sitting in your car for a few minutes before you start the day or head home, can help more than you expect.

Find Someone to Talk To

The last thing I would say is this: find someone to talk to. Whether that is a peer, a mentor, a family member, or a professional, find a person who can be in your corner.

Do not assume the worst before you even try. Do not let the fear of judgment keep you from getting the support you deserve. Most of the people you are afraid to open up to may surprise you. They may not judge at all. They may be more willing to help than you ever expected, and it may actually deepen those relationships in ways you did not see coming.

Choose to give people the chance to show up for you. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Additional Resources

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. These services are free, confidential, and available 24/7.

May FAQ: I'm Afraid to Talk About My Mental Health at Work

You Are Not Alone in Feeling This Way

Ease Into the Conversation

Get It Out of Your Head

Be Willing to Change Some Routines

Find Someone to Talk To

Related reading from Effective Retail Leader:

Why Every Leader Needs a Personal Retreat (And How to Take One)

6 Ways Retail Leaders Can Recharge and Protect Mental Fitness